On this page you can find all the info we have promised to share in the 2-3 Day Wheel of Consent® workshop hosted by Roger.
The link to this page is not published, however you can find it in the WhatsApp group desciption, or send Roger a PM to receive it.
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Table of Contents
Waking Up The Hands
Waking Up The Hands
Learning Objectives
● Increase sensitivity – ability to take in sensation and experience it as pleasure.
● This awakens the Direct Route of pleasure, which is a foundational piece to be able to access Taking.
● Develop comfort with the experience of relaxed pleasure.
● Discover that your hands are a source of pleasure to you and not just implements by which you accomplish things.
● Also tends to create a sense of safety and connection within.
About
This is the most important practice of the workshop. The process of waking up the hands can take time; typically with a room full of people, this process will take 30-40 min or more. Do not use a timer. Give it whatever time it takes. Watch for when it clicks; physiology will shift –muscles will soften, breath will slow, brain waves slow, blood chemistry changes, settle into “mmm…” state.
Once it clicks, it changes everything. There will be an emotional response.
Unexpected feelings might arise. There will be a huge range of what can come up and how strong (feels great, confounding, sad, self-doubt, guilt, shame). It can be challenging to feel so much sensation. Whatever it is for you, is just fine!
Most people will get it, and occasionally for a few people it will be impossible to get the click in the workshop and then it simply just needs to more time and loving attention. Be patient and supportive with yourself!
Key Teachings
● You have more nerve endings in your hands than anywhere else in your body except your mouth and your genitals.
● This is about inflow– information moving from one nerve ending in your hand to another nerve ending in your brain.
● Feelings can come up, it’s natural, and they reveal your basic relationship to pleasure.
● The hands are symbolic Receivers and Givers. This sets the stage for experiencing Receiving.
● The quality of your touch depends not on what you do with your hands, but what you take in/notice with your hands.
● When feeling the object, do you notice that you are in charge? You get to choose how much pleasure you take in and experience.
● This isn’t about love or relationship; there is nothing to give; just you and the object.
● When your hands get it, you get it.
And some geekery
● You are re-establishing neural pathways from the hands to the brain.
● This is a method of self-regulation and can open up parasympathetic state of rest and relaxation.
● The hands are connected to emotional centers.
● When you engage in touch, you release oxytocin, the hormone which blocks the release of cortisol and adrenaline, related to stress and mobilization.
Love, Freedom & Aloneness by Osho
Love, Freedom & Aloneness by Osho
The quotes Roger read in the mornings are from the book Love, Freedom & Aloneness by Osho, we read from Chapters 2, 3 & 4.
You can buy the book here:
NL https://amzn.to/4r3obyg (English Edition)
DE https://www.amazon.de/-/en/Love-Freedom-Aloneness-Koan-Relationships/dp/0312291620/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=8-1 (English Edition)
DE https://www.amazon.de/-/en/Liebe-Freiheit-Alleinsein-Osho/dp/3442215994/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=8-2 (German Edition)
FR https://www.amazon.fr/dp/0312291620/ (English Edition)
It's often sold out, so then please search for yourself and share in the group where you found it! 🙏
The Bossy Massage (aka Radical Receiving
The Bossy Massage (aka Radical Receiving
Purpose
The purpose of this exercise is not the “massage”; it’s not the touch at all. The purpose of this exercise is for participants to have an experience noticing what they want and to be able to request it; to stop going along, and to have a physical experience where nothing happens except that which is requested.
Note from Roger
When this is done repeatedly for an extensive amount of time, new neural pathways will start to form in your brain and you will slowly but surely become better and better and getting connected to what you want (and what you don't want) and will get better at elengantly and efficiently communicating that.
The part of your programming that says "I will never get what I want, I am not worthy etc" will then ultimately collapse.
Or it come up with even crazier shit to hold on that unhealthy programming. A lot of your childhood issue may then also come to surfice, so be gentle and soft with yourself. Don't judge or condemn yourself for having a hard time with this excersize. You programming has probably been done extensively, over multiple years and under the threat of (emotional) abondonment.
How to do this excersize
1. Invite participants to pair up and decide who will receive first. It’s best to give at least 20 minutes per turn (30 is even better) because it takes time for it to click. Shorter is possible but not recommended although always better than nothing.
2. Explain the agreements and write them up on flipchart paper.
For the Server
Look the Accepter in the eye and say to them:
● I am here to serve you
● I will do what you ask and nothing more
● And each time you ask I will do that for about 5-10 seconds
● Then I will stop and wait for your next request
● You can take as long as you like between requests
● You may get comfortable however you like – sitting, lying down, whichever – and you may change your mind about that at any time
● If there is something I’m not willing to do, I’ll tell you and you can choose something else
● I will do nothing except exactly what you ask for
Note from Roger
1. Even though you may be reading it, really try to make it your own and let your personal truth of this shine through the words.
2. As the Server, you are Giving, meaning not suffering. This means that if needed you can also take a pause if you feel you are unable to give with an open heart.
For the Receiver
● Get comfortable however you want and adjust your position at any time.
● Make requests for how you want to be touched – the more specific and concise the request, the better.
● Pause between each request and tune into your body to find the next request.
● Don’t ask until there is something you really want –wait for the impulse
● Ask for anything you want by making requests (Will you…? Could you…?) or demands (Do this…Touch my…).
Facilitator cue/key points
● You may need to remind people to come back to the agreements (only 5-10 sec, etc).
● This is an experiment to see what comes up. What did you notice in the exercise?What came up?What does it feel like to be in charge and ask for what you want? What if you believed that you deserve it? What you want matters! ❤️
Video Resources
● Video Resource: Bossy Massage with Betty (43 min)
● Video Resource: Bossy Massage with Robyn (17 min)
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